A Christmas to remember

Its’ funny how thoughts of Christmas’ past crept into my psyche this past week, especially given that for the most part I’ve been living away from my immediate family for more than three decades.  Strange – why now I thought to myself as I kept catching myself.  I guess living in another country will do that to you, but to be honest all I can remember about my last Christmas at home with my parents and siblings was my mum…it was the year before she died.

I still remember my dad calling me (unheard of btw) to tell me (yes, not ask) that I needed to be home for Christmas – it was 1986 and I was living in Darwin.  So not exactly a short nor an inexpensive trip home, but he made it clear that it would be our last Christmas together.

Me and my siblings (TW, Gary, Glenda,
Laurie (back), James and Dad) out front of our
house - Clunes 1986

No time to waste, so I booked a ticket home but given the late timing of my attempted booking I was out of luck.  I had the “planes, trains and automobiles” adventure to get home.   Firstly the flight from Darwin to Alice Springs was two hours then with another two-hour layover, and then the Alice Springs to Adelaide leg was another two hours.  From Adelaide there were no flights so I had to catch a bus to the city, find the bus station and then catch the bus to Melbourne (9 hours).  Once in Melbourne I then had to catch a train from Melbourne to Ballarat (2 hours).   With layovers and commuting between airports, bus stations and trains it was the best part of two days.

All of us made it home that final Christmas, mum wasn’t in good shape and although physically with us she was not entirely with us if you know what I mean.  The writing clearly was on the wall, she had to rest most of the time but was slipping fast.  It was evident in her every movement - from the look in her eyes, to her slow gait around the house that it was just a matter of time.   I know deep down she was thankful for us all to be there, but it was plainly evident that she also knew this to be her last Christmas with us.  

It was incredibly sad, but none of us talked about that, we all brushed it aside (as you do) and focused on the positives and a fun time. We tried to make it as much fun as possible from the loud and raucous lunch with the crazy Christmas bon-bon hats to the annual game of cricket on the front lawn after lunch…

Our last Christmas together - mum, dad and me
at the far end of the table - (Clunes 1986)

At first I wasn’t sure why these old and long forgotten memories and feelings raised themselves this past week, and it was all I could do to keep pushing them aside as they were ever present on the edge of my mind.   Any momentary lapse or relax and there they were again pushing themselves forward...painfully annoying I can tell you!

The more I thought about it the more I realized why now?   Its because its going to be the first ‘Christmas’ in fifteen years where I won’t be with or in my family unit per see.   

I’m getting use to the “new normal” and this year I have the kids the first week of the school break with my ex having them the second.

This year the kids and I are going to create a whole new family tradition, and although we’ve always celebrated Hanukkah for the kids (which we collectively will continue to do) its nothing like creating a new tradition or two…just to give them something to look back on with their kids and laugh.

Dad’s (yeah, that would be me) crazy and wacky idea of a fun family activity is a road-trip...to Florida!   Not just somewhere close, but all the way to Florida – are you kidding me?

Now to be fair to Zach and Sami they are good sports about it, and are somewhat excited (okay excited might be a bit of a stretch, but lets leave it at “a bit keen”) about a seven-day road trip to Florida with their dad.   We’ll either love it (which I’m guessing) or vow never to mention “the road trip” again…  :-)

So to make it a interesting I said to Zach & Sami that we need to find activities and cities for us to explore on our journey down south.  We’re not in a rush and plan to take it slow and explore as we go.   As you know from our previous blogs the kids travel well and with the satellite radio tunes being mixed by a new DJ every hour or two it should make for a fun and festive journey.

I can hear you all now…what the hell is he thinking…seven days in a car with two teenagers – is he completely nuts??

Our tickets for the Ohio State vs. Kansas State basketball
game at Ohio State University - Columbus OH
Dec 22, 2012

We’ve already got two big activities planned – the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton (Ohio), as well I got us tickets for an NCAA College Basketball game in Columbus (Ohio) -

Ohio State University vs. Kansas – ranked currently 4^th and 10^th respectively in the nation.  Okay the game was almost completely sold out but I was able to procure us three tickets in the nosebleeds…fun!   I’m thinking that the atmosphere will be electric given the quality of the teams and sold out stadium.

Other than those two planned activities we have nothing but an open road and time on our hands – and really, what could be better?

Living The Dream....almost

Growing up in a small country town in Australia had its advantages, but also some inherent challenges…especially for a boy had big hopes and dreams.   I remember from an early age feeling that I was different to my siblings and not in sync with my family, perhaps I was adopted I thought but one look at my dad and there was no mistaking my resemblance to him nor my mothers personality traits which were firmly inherent in me and my siblings.   Even from an early age I found the life I had been born into suffocating.

I knew growing up that I just had to get out, and that my real life was waiting for me.  I guess my formative years were a tad painful, both for my parents and me.  They could sense my restlessness and tried valiantly to ground me with a solid dose of reality but for the most part in vain.  In fact, there were many days when I wanted to just run away and get on with life.

I was painfully shy (okay that part may have changed since :-) which stemmed from a combination of my family environment and my parents views.

TW sporting a rather dashing (not!) moustache back in 1982
OMG....so embarrassing!

Our parents held onto the long and often overused tradition that kids should be “seen but not heard”, yes one of my parent’s favorite mantras growing up.   I suppose who could blame them, as they were also products of the same mantra – its what they knew.  It was Victorian era view where kids really weren’t expected to have a voice or a point of view about anything and were expected to do as they were told and be silent.

This had a devastating effect on my confidence.   Anytime I had an opinion I had to bite my tongue or risk being embarrassed in public or in front of other family members.  You quickly became good at not having a voice or offering any sort of feedback unless you were specifically (very rarely) asked.   You literally shrank from any sort of opinion and in effect became a piece of furniture.

Unfortunately I had plenty of opinions and so became even more withdrawn and shy.  The resident feeling was that I had too many big ideas and aspirations for my own good, and way outside what our family should have had in terms of expectations around life, job etc…  Yes, Australia in those days was far more class conscious and only a generation or two removed from being a British Colony with all of its hierarchies, structure and expectations.

Mum used to say that I was going to live a life of pain if I continued with such big dreams and that perhaps I should expect less from life.  She always said that I was too much like her father (Grandfather Conolly) and that I would have a life of heartache…

So with a long-term plan to escape this life I had to figure out how I was going to achieve it.   My first choice was to use sports as my vehicle out, but because I lacked confidence in my abilities I was at a significant disadvantage even to be a standout in local sports.   This was always going to be a long shot at best, but I was willing to try.

Newspaper article
from 1982 - see Ouyen

Playing football for the local football team started when I was 8 years old (we played in the district Under 12 football competition).   Hence, I spent a lot of time in the first couple of years trying to make the team but mostly sitting on the bench and sometimes getting a chance to play but mostly used in a reserve capacity. 

This period in my life laid an important foundation stone in my life.  It taught me lessons in patience and humility (as if I really needed another), it also taught me that if you wanted something badly enough you could find a way to make it happen even if it took years.  Staying focused and bloody-minded were the non-negotiables to make this a reality.

Its funny how rejection has a way of making your mentally tough, and although I wasn’t the most talented or gifted footballer for my age group (actually far from it) my single mindedness helped me plough on when faced with adversity and I believe its helped me across all aspects of my life and clearly shaped who I am today.

Early in my football career I realized that the only way to get ahead was to do more than everyone else, often training up to four days per week and playing twice on the weekend for different clubs in different competitions.

My family had no football pedigree and so I had a particularly steep hill to climb in the local community in terms of building my reputation – it took years.    And it wasn’t until I turned 16 that I really started to grow and fill out, up until then being smaller than my peers had been a distinct disadvantage.   Now all of a sudden I was being selected to play more frequently and this coupled with my hard work on skills training was finally beginning to pay off.   A few senior players and coaches were beginning to pay more attention and encourage me.  In fact there was a guy at the club who began taking me aside and giving me specific coaching at each break, helping me identify areas I could be improving on during the game.    All of a sudden I could play and compete...

During my first year of university (ripe old age of 17) I had moved into residence on campus (University of Ballarat) and although it was only 25 miles from my hometown I decided to go try out for one of the local teams as a walk on.  The competition (Ballarat Football League) was a big step up from my hometown club and was considered one of the states major leagues (farm league for the professional league).   I trained with East Ballarat and was selected to play in a number of practice matches to see how I'd fair prior to the start of the season, I guess they liked what they saw and put in for a transfer for me to join the club. 

Team lists - when I played for Wanderers in the NTFL 

The shock was that my old team didn’t want to now let me go – not now…oh, how the worm had turned!    We actually had to go to an arbitration hearing with my new clubs lawyer in front of the league commissioner and board to argue the case.  After a lengthy hearing I was granted my transfer, surprisingly I was the only kid from my town to make that jump.      

I was one step closer to my dream of playing in the Victorian Football League (VFL) but still a big step away….  I enjoyed my year albeit a rather unspectacular one, that said I did have a couple of really solid performances but lacked the true consistency of what I knew I could deliver. 

  

In 1982 I was teaching in the north west of the state and playing for the local club (Ouyen) who were in the Sunraysia Football League (again another major league competition).  My coach (Bruce Robinson) was an ex-Collingwood player (professional); I had worked my way along in my career and was now playing for money.  In fact being paid to play in addition to my teaching salary was a pretty good gig.  Not to mention the club owned a large 8-bedroom boarding house in the center of town where I lived as part of my deal for playing for the club (zero $$ rent) and all the food we could eat provided by the club.   Robbo, Bushy Valance (unbelievably talented player) and me became the residents of the “Pink Palace” as we liked to call it….the name stuck!

As you can imagine our house became party central!

Anyway, back to the story at hand...   Robbo was a terrific coach and was able to get the best out of me in terms of consistent high performance, perhaps it was a maturity thing, but at the ripe old age of 23 I was making newspaper headlines (local paper)…   Although the team won only a handful of games that year we were in a highly visible and very competitive league - all the better!.

The next year I was assigned to a school based in Melbourne where the VFL competition was based, my school was about 2 miles from the home of the Footscray Football Club (a storied club within the VFL).   School started in late January and one afternoon I got a call from the football administrator at Footscray to see if I’d be interested in having a trial with the club.

The program listing for when I played for the NTFA rep side
against the Tiwi Islanders - (Darwin 1987) in front of
almost 40,000 people, who were there to see
the "big game" - NTFL vs Sydney Swans.
We were the warm up game!

It was a holy shit moment – no question!    So with some trepidation (and a lot of butterflies) I went the next afternoon to meet with the club and have my trial.   It was surreal – here I was changing and getting ready to play with the guys who I’d seen playing on television…

I thought I was reasonably fit, but not at the level of the pros…   We started with a fitness test (which very nearly killed me :-) – weight circuit consisting of: max bench press, max squats, standing jump, max push ups, max sit ups, timed 10K run, sprints (40’s then 100’s) then actual ball work, and it continued well into the night.

Surviving that grueling initiation I knew it was possible...  

Ten days in and I was cut from the roster, in retrospect I now realize why I had fallen short in my dreams…  It wasn’t that I lacked the raw talent, nope had that, had the drive to succeed but doubted that I actually belonged.   Lurking somewhere in my psyche was a seed of doubt – how could I compete with the guys from TV.

The head coaches parting words – “you need to believe and trust in your abilities…you can play at this level but first you have to believe you can”.

My football career continued unabated when I moved to Darwin, playing for both Wanderers in the NTFL and later Banks in the NTFA prior to moving to Canada.

Zach and Sami know this story and it’s an important lesson – you, above all others have to believe in your own abilities and have the internal confidence to succeed.  

It starts and ends with you!  

Turkish Delight!

Each summer when the kids head off to sleep away camp for a month or two (depending on when there friends are going) I usually get on a plane and take a holiday to an exotic locale – this past summer I went to Italy for three weeks (see 2:15 Shuttle blog).

Two summers ago my ex and I decided to go to Turkey for our holiday.  I was always the travel planner (actually love this part) so once the location had been decided the rest was up to me to plan.

Street car in Taksim (Istanbul) - they are pint sized!

Hhhmmm – Turkey, surprisingly it had always been on my list of places to go, but I’d never actually made it there.  There were times when it had been so tantalizingly close - Greek Islands, but never quite there.

My plan was to split it into two distinct experiences – a mix of urban and beach so we could satisfy both sets of expectations and sensibilities.   Clearly Istanbul was number one on the list in terms of the urban center to visit – with its “cross roads of the ancient world” and modern day “east meets west” backdrop this had to be the starting point.   

My first step after booking our flights (using points of course) was to choose a hotel.   Now you might think that to be a simple task but when you’re TW not so much.   Oh no, it’s a rather laborious and some might even venture to say “convoluted” approach.

Where to stay?   Do you want to be in or close to the action?  Are you okay with crowds of other tourists?   What’s considered close but not too close?  What do you want to see while you’re there?   What is public transit like?  Is there a subway/underground train system?   It seems at least 64 questions need to be answered first and I’m only at the “where to stay” stage.   Holy crap this could take a while!

Clearly I started with my hotel loyalty partners, and to my great surprise they had quite a good selection of hotels available across the city with my brand (Marriott).  My list of priorities were – (1) the hotel had to be away from the maddening crowds, but only just far enough that it wouldn’t take more than 15 minutes to be in the heart of the action by local transit, (2) quick access to a subway train system for mobility around and across the city, (3) modern conveniences were also high on the list – newer hotel, air conditioning an absolute must (long gone are my hostel days ;-), especially at the peak of the summer...   Not too much to ask.

Then of course is taken into account by triangulating hotels based on customer ratings, star ratings and at least the same or similar prices on a minimum of two travel sites – just to ensure I got the best price :-)  

Sunset Grill & Bar advertisment

At the end of the day I found a great hotel in the Levent neighborhood of Istanbul on the European (west) side of the Bosphorus, and home to one of the main business areas in the city.  I’d never heard of the “Edition” brand of hotel until this booking, it’s a competitor to the “W” brand (higher end contemporary) by Starwoods.   

From the moment we arrived into Istanbul and were greeted at the airport by a driver from the hotel in a Mercedes 500 series long wheelbase sedan (thank you very much!) it was an unbelievable experience – in fact it was my best hotel experience…ever!

When we arrived at the hotel, the doorman greeted us by name as we stepped from the car, wow that’s pretty amazing I thought.   However, I assumed that he knew which guests the driver was picking up from the airport so instantly dismissed it as “well that’s his job”.  But all bets were off as we walked from the front door to the check in desk.  Each person from the hotel seemed to know us by name…   The greeter, the check-in staff, the concierge, the housekeeping staff all greeted us by name.   Now that was very impressive and quite amazing, as the hotel was reasonably busy.

Entrance to the Grand Bazaar - Istanbul

What floored me next was that the Concierge had gone ahead and made us a reservation at a very hard to get into restaurant for later that evening.  The Sunset Grill & Bar was located in an exclusive neighborhood that had spectacular views that overlooked the Bosphorus.   This enchanting terraced oasis was made even more spectacular by the open air terraced dining area and the soft sounds of local musicians serenading the dinner guests.  

Not sure we could have found a better location or indeed hotel for our stay in Istanbul, especially to match the level of service, amenities or location (it was literally 50 meters to the subway entrance from the hotel circle).   Just a great all around choice!

Yes a week to remember, especially the sounds, sights and smells of the Grand Bazaar, the amazing and ornate Topkapi and Dolmabahce Palaces, Hagia Sofia, the famous Blue Mosque…too many others to mention.  You can’t forget the delicious food and the very friendly people.  Of course we hiked for hours each day in the hot August sun, but loved every minute of the experience, including the boat trip up the Bosphorus.

For the second week I had booked us into a resort in the town of Bodrum down on the Aegean coast.   We caught an early morning charter flight from Istanbul to Bodrum, which was actually only about an hour in the air.   It was quite amazing to see the transformation of the countryside, coming from the lush plains of the Bosphorus and the Marmara Sea (smallest sea in the world) to the extremely arid coastline of the Aegean Sea. 

The town of Bodrum was the home to the Knights of St John, who had initially been headquartered on the island of Rhodes.  They needed another stronghold on the mainland and so they began constructing a castle (Castle of St Peter) in the early 14th century.   It still stands today on a rocky peninsula that juts into the sea.   

Castle of St Peter in Bodrum - Turkey 

Our resort was perched high on a mountaintop that overlooked the old town, with the castle clearly visible along with a broad expanse of the coastline and many nearby islands.  I had chosen well (even if I say so myself ;-) it was a gorgeous setting – from the broad white washed compound walls that surrounded the resort, to its lush gardens filled with fragrant and exotic flowers, the myriad of palm trees and the large, refreshing saltwater pool that overlooked the town far below.   Could have easily been construed as paradise!

One of my travel shortcomings is that I can only suntan for so long before I become antsy, that happened about day two of this portion in the trip and so I decided to venture into the town and do some exploring by myself.   

Each day and night you could hear the distinct and melodious call to prayer from the local and ancient mosque in the city.  I’m not sure exactly how the sound carries so far or so crisply but for me it’s a sound that’s so haunting and melancholy at the same time.   

As I explored the ancient town with all of its winding alleyways and narrow streets it really hit me that I was walking in the footsteps of history.  After all, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient world was located a short walk from the town – the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus).   Clearly this part of the ancient world had been fought over – won and lost by rulers, kings, knights, generals and dictators since time immemorial. 
  

Colors of the ocean from the castle wall - Bodrum

Later that afternoon as I sat leaning against the castle walls I felt very much a peace. There were very few tourists out and about (perhaps because of the heat - 40C or 104F, but all I could hear was the sound of the wind softly whistling along the castle walls, the occasional shriek of the sea birds high in the sky and they pitched and dove toward the iridescently green ocean far below.  Closing my eyes I could almost sense the history around me – quite eerie really.

Now as I reflect on that week of exploring the town and its environs I think it was a combination of colors and contrasting shapes, sounds, smells and the inexorable beauty, which seduced me so simply.   

Its easy to see and indeed understand why Turkey has been at the cross roads of the world since ancient times…my two weeks were unforgettable!

My First Million....miles!

I bet you thought that I was referring to my personal wealth, and in a way I guess I am but not in the monetary kind.   No earlier this year I passed one million air miles with Air Canada.

Air Canada Airbus 320 landing in Vancouver  

I joined Air Canada in 1998 and it’s taken me fourteen years to get me to the magic million air miles, actually earlier this week I checked and by the end of the year I will have added another 50,000 or so.  If you average out my mileage over the full fourteen years its about 71,500 miles per year.  Now, some years were far more that the seemingly paltry 71,500 miles ;-)    In 2010 it was very close to 200,000 air miles for the year, so not all travel years are created equal!

This year I’ll be closer to 125,000 so clearly you have “big” years where you feel like you live on a plane, other years not so much.  When I was working with Accenture I was on a plane weekly for almost the entire six plus years.   Now that’s where you really rake up the miles…

Let’s do the math shall we?   As you can see its pretty scary once you really start to dive more deeply into the numbers.

Average cruising speed (Airbus 320 = 500 mph)	Average against Total	Total Big Year	Total Lifetime (so far!)
Air Miles	71,500 miles	200,000 miles	1,050,000 miles
Number of mins in the air	8,580 min per yr	24,000 min per yr	126,000 min
Number of hrs in the air	143 hours per yr	400 hours per yr	2,100 hrs
Number of days in the air	6 days per yr	16.7 days per yr	87.5 days
Number of mths in the air			2.92 mths

Now this also doesn’t account for time going to and from the airport, waiting in the ever increasing security lines nor waiting for boarding.    Its pretty eye opening and to be honest a bit worrying when you consider how short life really is.

Realistically I think I’m closer to 1.5 million or perhaps more with all of the non-air miles flights and other airlines that I’ve flown with that don’t count against my Air Canada status.   Trust me its addictive…   I had one year in those fourteen in which I didn’t have airline status (no lounge access, no pre-boarding and no upgrades – not that Air Canada is overly generous in this last perk!) but seriously it nearly killed me every time I flew.  I hated the experience.

Yes, clearly I’ve become a bit of a “fat-cat” with regard to air travel, and have now taken these perks for granted but when reality strikes and you don’t have them and you’re being treated like the other member of the traveling public…yeah the other 90% of the population, its like a bucket of cold water on the experience.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret…I must admit there were years where it was going to be “touch & go” if I’d keep my status…just a few miles short.   I’m not proud to admit that a couple of times I found a way to travel to make up those miles…   I realize that’s incredibly sad and not proud of my actions but I’m being honest - the metaphorical “kimono is now open” (yes, I realize its not a pretty sight!  ;-)

Say no more :-)

 So what has been the impact on my life been with spending so much time on a plane?   Sure it has fueled my sense of adventure and provided me with an avenue to see the world…some great aspects, others so not so much (just read some of my other blogs).

Sure for the neophyte traveller, business travel is an exotic elixir of adventure and the coolness of being on the road, but for those of us who do it for a living it’s a complete “grind”.  I think most of us who travel for business would whole-heartedly agree that traveling for business wears pretty thin after the first couple of trips.

When the movie “Up in the Air” came out in 2009 starring George Clooney and Vera Farmiga it pretty much summed up my life on a plane, although George’s character surpassed the ten-million mile threshold on American Airlines (who knew that they actually named a plane after you if you reach that rarified level?) it was plain that you paid a steep price (yes, in more ways than one) for living out of a suitcase and being the “road warrior”.

Air Canada route map - North America

For me it highlighted the sheer loneliness of being on the road (all the time), and brought into stark focus the ultimate price that you pay with your family (spouse, kids, parents & siblings) not to mention your friends.  

It’s a quandary – when you’re traveling you feel extreme guilt for being away from your kids (I know I did) all the time and missing important events, activities and milestones (parent teacher interviews, soccer games, recitals…the list goes on and on).   When you’re home you feel guilt in two ways – you know you’re going to be leaving again very soon so giving equal time to everyone you love is a juggling act.   I always felt like I did a crappy job of managing this with Zach and Sami. 

The other challenge is that your close friends (if you still manage to have any) are for the most part ignored.   Not intentionally but there is never enough time to spread around – its just a fact of life under these circumstances, so your friends need to be resilient and okay with periods where you just don’t get a chance to connect.

Note my special designation -
oooh so important...yeah not really

The big “up-side”, if there actually is one are the air miles.   Zach, Sami and I have travelled quite a bit in recent times using my miles, as you may recall Sami and I went to NYC for the weekend on airline / hotel points.  The three of us traveled to San Francisco for the Labor Day (first weekend in September) long weekend which was amazing, again all on points.

I’m heading to London, England tonight (meetings next week with my team there), but will be actively scouting for a potential trip with Zach & Sami in 2013…stay tuned!   

I’d like to think that my “road warrior” days are now firmly behind me for the most part, although I still have to travel for business its now on my schedule and timing which is so important for me and the kids.   Although, now my business travel it’s usually for just a day or two which I can plan for, and schedule around the kids and what’s going on and important in their lives.  

A much healthier approach don’t you think?   Although quite frankly I’m still a little shocked and dismayed with how much of my life I’ve actually spent flying!     

For those of you that are in this “parallel universe” of business travel – how are you feeling about your lifetime of being on a plane?