Unsung Hero

This weekend Indelible Adventures is heading to Minneapolis for a series of photo shoots so stay tuned in the coming weeks for some great photos from this weeks adventure!  As well, this summer Zach is heading to Georgetown University for a summer program and Sami has been selected to play in the Maccabi Games in Florida this August so more road trips scheduled.   

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Prologue:

It was a Thursday and I was feeling a little depressed, life just hadn't panned out as I had imagined and so feeling a tad sorry for myself I decided on the spur of the moment that I needed to take a few days off.  This was in a time before the Internet, yes, way back in 1995...

At that time I was working at one of the large banks on a transformation program and so I decided to head downstairs for an afternoon coffee and clear my head.  Serendipity now played its hand and on the way I noticed a travel agent that I hadn't remembered seeing before and without thinking I walked right inside.

“Where could I go tomorrow?” I asked tentatively sitting down in front of the agent, she glanced up smiling and began flipping through some sheets on her desk and said, “Let me see…I could get you to Antigua tomorrow” she said confidently.  How much I enquired?  For how many she asked…”ah, just one” I said rather sheepishly.  Clearly I was in too deep and feeling both a little awkward and already mentally committed, however with no time to decide I just went with my gut and slowly pulled the credit card from my wallet.  “You can pick up your airline ticket tomorrow morning at the airport, but you'll need to be there for 5:00 am as the flight is at 6:30 am” she said cheerily handing me an envelope with my receipt and hotel voucher. 

I was now super excited and looking forward to a week of warm weather and beach time to help shake my insidious blues.  

However, when I got to the resort in Antigua I realized that it was a couple’s resort – just my luck I thought to myself.   In fact it worked out much better than I could of expected, not only was the weather sensational but there were no distractions except for windsurfing all morning and sleeping under a palm tree each afternoon...blissful was the word I use to describe it!  

Over the course of the week I had lots of time to reflect on my life, and delve into my funky and prolonged mood.  I came to the realization that my sadness was primarily driven because I felt  I had missed my chance of meeting someone, settling down and having a family - yes prime mid life crisis!.  Over the course of the week I reflected on my life I finally came to terms with the fact that if it wasn't meant to be, then I needed to accept the fact and move on with my life. 

However, just when you think all is lost - I met Jodie (ex) two weeks later and within three years we had Zach and Sami.  And like the vast majority of parents from the moment your children are born it's love at first sight. OMG - there is something magical in that fresh newborn smell, the late night bottle with them curled in my arms and of course the best time of day was always storytime, that fortunately for me only ended last year with Sami.  
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Now I can all see you thinking so what does this have to do with the topic “Unsung Hero”?    

As I sit here all these years later (Zach is now 16 and Sami 14) all I can do is marvel at the difference in the way I parent versus the way I was parented back in the day. Clearly it's a different era, with vastly different distractions and expectations.  However, It feels like recognition for fathers and what they contribute to both family life and the raising of their children hasn’t kept pace with the level of recognition or appreciation that they get from those around them.  

For instance I noticed that soon after the Zach was born I became a bit of a non-entity in the grander scheme of things, and no that's not just my ego talking!  (yes that's your outside voice) J The universe seemed to shift and focus entirely on the mum and beautiful baby, as it should - except that the universe, for me at least never seemed to shift back to any sort of equilibrium.  

As a father I honestly felt I became completely invisible.  My role became primarily the "muscle" in the relationship, the one who lugged all the bags, and struggled under the weight of car seats, strollers, portable cribs, and all the kiddie accouterments whenever we went somewhere. I had suddenly faded into the background to become the jack-of-all-trades, the night guy when Zach and Sami woke at ungodly hours hungry, wet or crying, the guy who cleaned up the many pooh explosions (oh yes, there were quite a few!) and generally kept everything on the rails, but always in the background... 

I know I'm alone when I say that being a dad can be a lonely role.  You definitely need a solid dose of self-confidence, resilience and stoicism to continue on no matter what gets thrown at you. Don't get me wrong I love being a dad and I feel truly blessed each and every day to have my two wonderful teens - it really is the best job ever but it would be nice to get a little recognition now and again.  Just sayin!

Please indulge me and try something for me - I want you to take a minute and reflect on all that your father or your husband does to provide comfort, security and a sense of well being to you and your family. And when you see them next, don't wait for Father's day - thank them for being your rock, thank them for being a wonderful father and role model and finally thank them for everything that they do, even the small unnoticed things.

And there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish I had more opportunities to tell my dad what he meant to me...

You may not realize it, but this small act of recognition will mean the world to them, however to be fair I should warn you that if your father or husband is sensitive in any way you may actually see them tear up...try it and see what happens.

I would love to know what reactions you received so email me or leave a message on my blog and I'll be sure to respond.

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This week's photo are dedicated to some of Zach and Sami over the years.  Enjoy!

Zach, TW and Sami in the pool at Florida - 2003

Sami and Zach - Florida 2005

Sami - TW - Zach - Florida 2007

Sami, my dad and Zach in Australia - 2008

Zach, TW and Sami - Sydney Australia - 2008

Thought you'd love this one - Sami and TW - Halloween 2009

Zach the Toronto Prep School - Talent night taken this past Tuesday
night (2015)

Zach onstage rocking it out - TPS Talent night 2015

Sami being congratulated for scoring a goal for her school soccer team - 2014

Sami heading toward goal in a recent game - 2015