Tumultuous

Prologue:
Who would have thought that a year on and I’d still be writing my weekly blog?   Clearly not me, to be honest I thought that I would have run out of stories by about last April yet here I am still writing merrily away….clearly no accounting for my readers tastes ☺

Indelible Adventures blog statistics....who knew that a year
on it would have been so well subscribed??

Seriously though my weekly writing has definitely helped me think about life a little more deeply and encouraged me to be more observant in my day-to-day interactions with Zach and Sami not to mention the broader world around me.  It’s also helped me connect more with my past – stories from my mum and dad including the related stories passed down about my grandfather were particularly well read and commented on.  
  
Just the fact that so many of you are still interested in reading my blog every week is really encouraging.  The other thing that blows me away is the breadth of countries where people regularly read my blog, and although I don’t actually know anyone directly in Argentina, Latvia or Japan I appreciate your loyal following!   My readership is truly global now with readers from all corners of the world including two large and rather active groups in Germany and Russia – who knew?.  Thank you one and all!

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So, did I tell you I signed the papers on my new house?   Okay this is huge news for me and will be my first house that I’ve owned by myself.  It’s a completely renovated four bedroom with new hardwood floors, windows etc and although an older place has great “bones” if you know what I mean.  The best part other than living on the Danforth (Greek-town in Toronto) is that the subway station is six houses from my front door and now Zach will be able to catch the subway to school across town without having to change trains (his school is at Bathurst).

Our new house - 323 Strathmore Boulevard 

We all really liked the vibe from the house from the moment we walked in, and most of all I’m thrilled that the kids are both very excited about helping me decorate and make it ours.   I take possession at the end of February but won’t move in until April when my current lease runs out, this will give us  time to paint and do some basic stuff.

As many of you know my marriage ended after almost 14 years early last year so it’s been quite the year of adjustment really.   But we’re not done just yet….now just to make it interesting lets layer on a change of job in the August/September timeframe.  Okay, so I can’t complain too much as I then spent three weeks traveling in Italy (see my blogs from the summertime) when the kids were away at Camp Arowhon in Algonquin National Park with their friends.  Clearly we’re talking monumental changes to my life and indeed all three of our lives. 

Fortunately Zach and Sami have adjusted extremely well to the changes, particularly to spending time at both places and I definitely think we’ve made the best of it.   In fact the kids and I have traveled quite extensively this past year, surprisingly quite a bit more than in our past life.   As you might have already guessed as part of the “new” normal I've already booked us for Hawaii at March Break (okay Maui to be exact), then an individual long weekend with each of them somewhere in the North America (city of their choice) at a time of their choosing, plus another weekend or two with the three of us exploring.   Hey you have to use these air miles somehow right! ☺   Personally I’m thinking New Orleans, Seattle and possibly San Diego are all on the dance card so far for 2013…

TW's first passport....so young!

Lets take a look at my family history of separation and divorce – there’d be no surprise that we’ve had a number of other separations and divorces over the years within the family.   That includes my mum who was married before she met my dad plus two of my brothers, and a couple of nephews (no, not naming names :-).   Sounds like a normal family to me, but it does seem that as a family we’re comfortable with the whole thing – not that it’s a good thing necessarily, but a facet of life that the family has come to accept and support.

One story I have that relates is when I went to get my first passport I had to apply for my parent’s birth certificates and marriage certificate to submit as part of the standard process.  I was 25 at the time, so no kid by any stretch of the imagination.  

When I received the marriage certificate I thought that they had made a mistake with the dates because I would have been nine years old when mum and dad had gotten married according to the certificate….how was that possible I thought?    So I went to my sister Glenda and explained that the Births, Deaths & Marriages office had clearly made a mistake on the date, but while I was blathering on about the certificate I noticed that she wasn’t making eye contact and was trying to downplay the whole thing and basically change the subject as fast as possible without making it too obvious.

Hhhmmm, something isn’t quite right I remember thinking to myself.  Next came the moment of silence then the admission that indeed the marriage certificate was accurate and that mum and dad actually hadn’t been married until I was nine years old.     

Wow!   So what do you do with that information….especially since mum was recovering from her stroke and had been generally unwell for a number of years, and dad was just trying to keep it together for her and nurse her back to health, so to now dredge up this tidbit of history probably wasn’t in anyone’s best interests so I let it go.   

It was a different era where kids were “seen and not heard”, so this type of thing was of no real consequence to us and therefore never spoken of.  The reality was that it was completely swept under the rug and often denied rather than have an open conversation about.   You’d think, as we got a little older that this would be a topic for discussion, but not so much!  

Zach & Sami - my pride and joy!

Now that I’m a parent I realize how difficult it can be to sometimes bring up history to your kids to ensure they have the “full” story, both Zach and Sami mostly know the good, bad and ugly but there will be things that won’t quite make it to primetime that are important to tell them.  This blog has helped enormously, but not all of the stories have been shared just yet.  

However, more importantly its about signalling to them that's its okay to talk about any topic and that there are no conversations that we shouldn't be courageous enough to have between the three of us.   
I know this is going to get interesting.....that's all I'm saying!