Lessons on the pitch

This weekend has been a series of life lessons for Zach and Sami.   Earlier today they both played in their final soccer tournament for their local house league.  


As of Friday night Zach’s team was sitting at the number 7 spot out of 8 teams and his team had to win their final game of the season leading into the tournament to move up to number 6 spot and so get a chance to play a lower ranked team.  Prior to the game they were destined to play the number two team, who having beaten them on each occasion during the regular season was pretty intimidating to say the least.   To move out of this bracket they needed help from the team above them who had to lose for them to move up, but given the situation it didn’t look good.


Watching Zach play his heart out in that game was inspirational.   He knew that a lot depended on the game and so he had steeled himself to do whatever it took to win.   He played an awe inspiring game scoring both goals in a 2-1 win.   I was both proud and impressed by his strong work ethic and focus in delivering his team a much needed win!   

Zach Wallis U13 North Toronto
House League 2012

Sometimes life throws you a curve or two, and although they had won it wasn’t enough. The other team had lost, but on closer examination both teams ended with the same number of points so the tie-breaker was the goal differential…the other team had scored more goals over the course of the season and so Zach’s team were destined to play the number two team on Saturday.   My advice to him was that these types of tournaments are rife with upsets and surprises so for him to go play his best no matter what and to leave all his energy on the field and see what happens.   
I could tell he was all business as he warmed up for the game earlier today, attentive and crisp in his passing drills and generally well prepared mentally…just like I had advised him (wow am I having an influence on him?) 
Sami’s season was a complete contrast to that of Zach’s; her team had outscored their opponents by a large margin all season long and had sailed through the regular season well ahead of all the other teams.   They were the number one seed and would be playing the number 8 team with an apparent easy first game.   When I asked her about the other team she was all smiles and supremely confident – her response was “dad they are the number 8 team we’re the number one team….really?”.   


Something about her cockiness bothered me, but as her dad I know there is a fine line between questioning her confidence and planting self-doubt so I didn’t push it.  I must admit I was feeling just a little apprehensive but tried to push it from my mind.
This morning dawned and it was going to be another hot one in Toronto with the temperature hovering around 30C at game time and the humidex reaching into the low 40C’s it was going to be a brutal day to be out playing in full sun for 40+ minutes.


Zach’s game was first at 12:30 pm, arriving at the game 30 minutes before hand to warm up and get last minute instructions from the coaches.  His team had a full squad with three substitutes and as we got closer to game time the other team seemed to be one player short.   Perhaps things were starting to spin in our favor?   It was a hectic start to the game with the first five minutes played at a relentless pace under the hot sun and by the first substitution break at the 7-minute mark it was pretty even with neither team overpowering the other.   However, disaster struck soon after with some indecision in defense which saw the other team score, five minutes later the defender tried to clear the ball over the goal, but unfortunately slipped under the crossbar to make the score 2-0.   I could tell the boys confidence was shot and so at half time they came off with all their heads all hanging low.   


The other team were riding high at the half, but also tiring mightily in the heat and as the second half started Zach’s team took the initiative and began pouring on the pressure and shortly thereafter broke through to make it a 2-1 game, suddenly the team came to life.   They had more of a spring in their step but another unfortunate mix up in the box enabled the other team to push one past the goalie to make it 3-1.  With only minutes remaining all seemed lost, but the boys quickly scored again to make it 3-2 and within striking distance!    They might have been the seventh team but they were playing like the number one team….  Unfortunately there were  no Hollywood endings to this story today and although they played well it just wasn’t quite enough to see them advance, even with the last minute heroics.

Sami Wallis U11 North Toronto
House League 2012

Fast forward an hour and a half at a field about five miles away in a neighboring suburb, yes Sami’s game was a 2:50 pm start – could it get any hotter????
Her U11 team were pretty chatty as they warmed up to play the eighth placed team, none of them really considering anything else but another win for them and guessing who they would be playing tomorrow in the semi finals.
It was a scrappy start to the game, with not a lot of leeway for either team, but Sami was playing well in the center mid position and while not as dominate as she normally is I put it down to the heat and condition of the field (yes, it was bit of a cow pasture with big ruts, longish grass and some bare spots).    At the half I could tell a lot of the girls were starting to feel the effects of the extreme heat, but felt that they just needed a single break to get them into the next gear.
I had a quiet word with Sami at the half but she was very emotional, tears filling her eyes as she complained about the bad breaks and the poor play.  I tried speaking to her softly and calmly so as to help her bring down her emotional state (almost entirely due to the possible heat exhaustion), but with another half to go the coaches tried rallying the team and giving them very specific instructions.  


The second half started at a cracking pace, with the ball not able to break through and Sami’s team being stymied time and again by the gaggle of girls in front of the opposing goal.   They had a number of good shots but nothing that the goalie wasn’t able to handle.   
As the final whistle blew the final score line was 0-0, and now the game was going to a five minute overtime followed by a penalty shootout if a winner had not been secured.   Sami and her teammates were incredulous!   What was going on here – these guys are the number eight team for goodness sake!!!!    The harder they tried the more frustrated they became – it was a train wreck in the making….   


Again Sami’s team just couldn’t break the deadlock and so at the end of the overtime period the score was still 0-0….now for the penalty shootout!
I’m not sure if you’ve seen or been a witness to a penalty shootout, but in U11 girls soccer just like at the World Cup or Europa 2012 it’s both exciting and nerve wracking, especially when your daughter is participating.   The teams huddled to choose their shooters and Sami was up first (no pressure!)    

Sami in full flight and dominating play
earlier this season

As the referee blew his whistle to signal she could take her shot it was as if she was in slow motion, she made great contact but the goalie made a terrific save and the ball had somehow stayed out of the net.   Sami was crushed!  Tears streamed down her cheeks, large sobs wracked her body as she slowly walked back to the team….  I could physically feel her pain (as parents I think we all can).  Everyone was in disbelief as they assumed that her goal would be a certainty given her powerful kick and proven ability to score.   The other team scored a miraculous goal and unfortunately didn’t relinquish the lead, each team had a couple of misses and saves but it was done.    
The number one team had lost!
Alas today was not going to be the day miracles or certainties for either of my kids, there was to be no glory or opportunity to play in the semi finals tomorrow, their seasons were done!   
As a parent it was painful to watch your children lose out on something that they want so badly, but deep down, although they may not agree with me I believe today was a life lesson in humility, hard work and being in the moment.  


Each of them were clearly disappointed but I hope in the days that follow and as they read this blog (which they do religiously) that it will become apparent that winning or losing is not the issue at hand here but how they each handle and react to the loss that will dictate who they become in life….