Surrender

As you know I’ve been fortunate to travel quite a lot over the years as my many of blogs can attest, but my adventures to India stand out.  Why you ask? 

They say once you’ve been to India you do one of two things, you either embrace or you resist it.  If you resist, well it can be a jarring experience full of tough images and emotional challenges.  However, if you embrace India for what it is, then it has a way of getting under your skin, and on some level fall in love with the people and amazing beauty and simplicity of the Indian way on life. 

It was just a few short years a go that I had to go to India for business. Prior to getting my shots at the local Vancouver clinic I looked at the map of the world to see what shots I’d likely need.  India was awash with the myriad of things I could contract or be exposed to, looks like I’m going to get them all I thought to myself.  I remember the sense of trepidation as I had every immunization known to man – Hep. A & B, Cholera, Dengue Fever…you name it I had it.   

A page from TW's Immunization Travel Card
(one of the many...)

Holy shit this is serious I caught myself thinking (ensure that it was only my inner voice and not the outside one is always a good thing in a crowded clinic), but never the one to shy away from a good adventure (plus the whole work thingy…) I accepted the fact that I was about to become a veritable pin cushion!

Sure enough once I told the doctor where I was going she started reeling off all the ones I would need, so I just smiled my best TW smile and said “no worries – let’s do it!”

Now that over with I had to also get a couple of letters – the first had to be an invitation from our local India office, another form my client to say that I had business in India and hence needed a work/travel visa.  I arrived early in the morning to the Indian Consulate General in Vancouver with my letters, photos and the fee (of course) to secure my visa.  Once I had filled out the forms I also had to submit my passport along with all the requisite forms, fees, photos etc.….   “Don’t worry it will be mailed to your home address in seven business days” the consular agent told me, and although a little disconcerted that I had just given up my passport I was pleasantly surprised to get everything returned safely and on time.

The big day came for my departure and with a fair amount of trepidation and excitement I boarded my overnight flight to Frankfurt, before changing planes and tracking south to Bengaluru (Bangalore) in southern India.   

John (my old boss) and I arrived into a crowded and muggy terminal, chock full of westerners, ex-pats and those returning from or arriving for holidays and family visits.   Even at 1:00 AM it had a frenetic yet orderly place if you know what I mean, there were many international flights all landing around the same time.  Some might say it was controlled mayhem, others might leave out the word “controlled”, but whichever way you look at it I personally felt out of my element, well at least for the moment anyway.

Busy Indian street

Once through customs, which included a number of checkpoints, questions and enquiring eyes from the large number of security forces engaged in the process we had been instructed to keep a sharp look out for our driver (Mannish) who would be waiting for us, “don’t worry he’ll have a sign”.   We scanned the large crowd of drivers and people waiting for the many arrivals, the crowd was shoulder to shoulder and he also craning his neck looking for two North Americans amongst the large crowd of new arrivals, did I hear you say “pin in a haystack”?  

Once we located each other, he insisted on taking out bags and quickly led us out of the terminal and across a road to the car park and his waiting car, you see Mannish was going to be our driver for the entire time we would be in India.  He worked for one of the many car rental companies, and is highly recommended and indeed safer to have a driver than to risk driving in this chaotic locale.

I’m not sure if it was a combination of my exhaustion or the humidity or the scenes that greeted me as we drove into the city from the airport, even at this incredibly late hour my senses were being bombarded a strange assortment of images, smells and sounds.   I was clearly “no longer in Kansas” (the line from the Wizard of Oz) and thought to myself that this was going to take some getting used to.

We grabbed a few hours sleep at our palatial hotel before showering, grabbing a quick breakfast and heading down to the taxi rank where we asked for Mannish and his car number (#14), quick as a flash our car appeared in the driveway with a beaming Mannish perched behind the wheel.   Wow, that was fast!   Only later in the week did we realize that he slept in the car for the entire time we were in Bengaluru, always on call – 24 x 7.   I remember thinking how spotless the car was day or night; Mannish always crisply dressed which was, to be honest a bit of a contrast to the world outside the car…   How on earth did he manage to look so impeccable I thought?

Leela Palace Hotel - Bengaluru, India.  To be clear, the
Leela is not really roughing it!  :-)

After the first day or so, I’m no sure if I just got used to the scenes that surrounded me or became blasé particularly when stuck in traffic. Initially what got to me most were the young children begging at the windows of the car as we stopped in traffic or perhaps was it the row upon row of shanty huts that lined the sides of the roads, any space became a potential housing development or was it the abject and what seemed like pervasive poverty surrounding me on all sides?

The conundrum for me was the absolute happiness and positive attitude of the people I met during my visits, such a huge contrast.   Here was poverty like you’ve never seen before on one hand and on the other such a strong and positive outlook on the future of India – simply uplifting!

I also realized early on in my first visit that the only way to survive India was to “surrender” myself to it.  Although I’m not a big fan of spicy food I now have a new appreciation of real Indian food and some of the differences between dishes from the north versus the south of the country.  Definitely opening myself up and allowing myself time and mental space to find an appreciation of the sights, sounds, smells and textures that were constantly evolving around me was an interesting situation to be in.  Accepting all of its contrasts, extremes and indeed this very richness brought my experience to life on a whole new level – hard to explain, but I was able to “breath”, strange as it sounds.

A highlight of our initial visit was our team dinner - prior to our visit John has spoken to the local lead and said that we wanted to take the “team” (John had meant Leadership team) to dinner during our visit.   We were assured that everything would be arranged for Wednesday night at a local restaurant.  As it got closer there seemed to be a fair amount of excitement and buzz was in the air about the big dinner.  The buzz was not confined only to the leadership team…hhhmmm It seemed as though everyone knows about the dinner – strange I thought myself.

At 5:00 pm we headed downstairs to locate Mannish who was going to take us over to the restaurant, after an excruciatingly long delay stuck in traffic, even with running a couple of red lights and driving up a one way street the wrong way we finally arrived, only to find the entire team – yes, all 140 people already at the restaurant.   As we entered they all clapped and cheered…this was when I noticed John turn slightly pail.   He genuinely thought that we were taking the eight people on the local leadership team out for dinner, not the entire team!

Apparently they had booked the entire restaurant, all three floors including rooftop, a live rock band (these guys were amazing and could play any cover, taking request all night long :-).   I could see John doing the math in his head, 140 people for a three-course meal, drinks, live band…he leaned in and quietly asked how much money I had on me.  I said I had about $100 US dollars, plus about 5000 Indian Rupee, plus my credit card if need be.

Bronze statue of Ganesha at the restaurant - he is worshipped on
many religious and secular occasions, especially at the time
of beginning new ventures - like starting a business

After an awesome meal, great music, endless drinks it was beginning to wind down at around 10:30 pm and the moment of truth was about to come - time for the bill if you please…   After all was said and done we ended up splitting it on our credit cards but the whole lot came out to about $350 US dollars for the entire night.

The next morning everyone was abuzz with stories from the night before, it clearly had been a huge success.   As I walked the bays it was awash with peels of laughter, lots of post mortem discussion and clearly there was a good vibe about how much fun we’d all had the night before.  Now that was a team-building event! 

I wanted to get a sense of the real India and so over the course of the week I made it a point of speaking to Mannish so I could learn a little more about his life.  I must admit I was shocked to learn that he like the other drivers employed by the rental car companies, each driver only got one chance per month (roughly speaking) to drive someone from the West.   It didn’t matter if his clients were only in town for one day or two weeks this was this driver’s singular opportunity to make some extra money over and above the meager salary ($40 per month) for his general driving services.  

He also explained that he lived in a village about 50 miles outside Bengaluru and that each weekend if he wasn’t working he would walk or hitch hike home to see his wife and two sons, sometimes taking him most of the day to get home before turning around and making his way back to the city and the next driving job.   They lived a subsistence life in the village; with almost the entire amount he earned going to pay rent with the remainder on food.   The tips he made from his western customers allowed him to buy non-essentials (school uniforms, books and  medicine for his one son with severe asthma).

At the end of the week John and I pooled our remaining Rupee and gave it to Mannish as a tip, not a lot but the equivalent of about an extra month’s salary ($160 US dollars).  As we handed him the wad of notes, his eyes misted up as he gripped our hands strongly and shook them until I thought I was going to lose feeling in my fingers. 

Some people might be skeptical and dismiss this as a token act or that it just made us feel good, but I would contend that making a difference to someone’s life irrespective cannot be measured in the size of the act, but the act itself.

I guess I’d like to think that this small token of our appreciation and esteem for Mannish made a difference and perhaps provided a little breathing space for him and his family, even for just a little while.

Whenever I think of India I warmly think of all my friends there and how they touched my heart with their kindness and generosity!