Time...

What got me thinking about this week’s blog was something an acquaintance said to me after I got back from Italy – they said, “I want your life”.   Interesting I thought to myself after the conversation ended, “who dictates what your life is other than you?”…   Unless you’re a believer in reincarnation (and not that there’s anything wrong with that), you only get to live this once so figuring out what you want out of life is pretty central to living a contented and fulfilled life…one with no regrets.   I can see a few of you nodding as you read this.

On the dock at Lenno on
Lake Como in the Italian Lakes
- a TW favorite!

This conversation couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time, because after my sixteen days in Italy where I had a lot of time on my hands and spent a good deal of time reflecting on my life to this point and determining no only what’s most important to me but also what’s next.

No surprise that admittedly its been a tad hard readjusting to my day to day “normal” life back in Toronto and yes, I can hear you all now as I smile to myself (inside voice please)…a few come to mind – “cry me a river dude” is one that springs to mind. :-)  Perhaps it’s that darn travel hangover…again!

Anyway, this somewhat self imposed reflection period had been a long time coming and for the first time in quite some time I was able to really take stock and determine my next steps in this very short life we lead.

Without doubt my first priority is, and always will be Zach & Samantha.   Clearly part and parcel of this is to be the best possible dad and continue to heavily influence them and their lives with my love, caring, listening, humor (quite often they don’t see this as a plus), insights & advice, and generally provide them a sense of groundedness that I sometimes wish I had as a kid.   I realize there are some pretty big bundles here, but seriously this would turn into a tome if I didn’t bundle it up!

Strangely as I thought about the other things that I want in my life the list becomes a pretty short one…  

Clearly my health is critical to any plan – so clearly that’s on the list.  We all take this for granted, with the best example being my dad who was what I thought to be healthy and as strong as a bull until he wasn’t.   It happened in the blink of an eye with that single diagnosis – hhhmmm makes you think doesn’t it?

San Fruttuosco & Portofino - what a great hike and
indeed adventure!

So health is number two after the kids.  I suppose that means exercising more often, although I’m not doing too badly with a couple of times a week I need to stay vigilant and perhaps try and ratchet that up to 3 or 4 times a week.   I’ve also decided to try yoga (yes, I can hear you – didn’t we discuss using your inside voice?).  I know for those of you who I’ve laughed at (sorry I mean “with”) and harangued over the years for going to yoga (sometimes even called into question your manhood…).   Well, I’ve decided to put my pre-conceived notions aside and give it a try.  So now I’m on the look out for a class that’s close to home at least one night a week that I can commit to – stay tuned!

There are a few other things that influence your health, not only that but then you need to try and balance them more effectively.

What do I mean by balance?   Well, exercising a little more would likely be a good start; as well I need to pay more attention to my diet (I’m sure I’ll learn to love salads more although it could take a while L).  Actually before the kids went to summer camp they helped me quite a bit with my grocery shopping habits.   Firstly, no more lollies (candy for those of you in North America) - yep, they got me buying dried fruit (raisins, dried cranberries and dried apricots etc.) as a substitute instead.  I do feel better for it, perhaps its mostly mental, but I liked their suggestions and support that they gave me on this one so I plan on staying the course on that one. 

Uncovering these little gems in my 
travels has been truly amazing!
(Dolceacqua - Italy)

Okay so now I have more exercise, a little more emphasis on choosing the right foods but I also need to try and take away some of the stress associated with my life.   Easier said than done and a pretty complicated one to tackle wouldn’t you agree?   To me stress is interwoven into everything we do – stress of living in a big city, stress of the commute, stress of the job, stress associated with families, stress of paying the bills on time…well, you get my drift.  There are lots and lots of things that stress us, every day.   However, I think in part if you’re happy in yourself (personally) then that can help arbitrate the stress levels to a large degree as well.     

Again, a very complicated topic to tackle “what makes you happy” is extremely hard to isolate per see.   It suppose it depends on the day, your personal relationships, your workload, and clearly the stress levels impinging on you at home, at work and everywhere in between.   I tried but soon realized that it’s too easy to get discouraged when you tackle such an enormous topic, so I tried to peel it back and really understand at the most basic level what makes me happy...easier said that done.   A great little exercise with a sunset and half a litre of fantastic local Italian red wine helping your thought process along!

Here what I came up with:  other than seeing my kids thrive and be happy it’s the following:  (1) surround myself with people who care about me and that support me for who I am...yes, even with all my flaws!  (2) Change my personal perspective and focus on “working to live”…not the other way around.  I guess this means that I should start planning my next travel adventure! (3) Ensure that my priorities are aligned to my personal values and that I keep my work – life balance in perspective no matter what I do or for whom I do it.  (4) Be true to myself and follow my passion.  Strangely I’ve given this advice to many of my counselees at work over the past few years, and now after taking a little while to step back I probably should consider taking my own advice J

Hard not to reflect with an amazing sunset and
a terrific bottle of red Italian wine.

This one is big pretty big cos’ it means that I need to be in an environment which allows me to be more creative on a daily basis, a little less rigid and controlled perhaps…hhhmmm? 

My way of interpreted this particular one as I was self reflecting was to set myself the personal goal of publishing a book within a year (before the end of next August…yikes!) 

Wow, I said it out loud for everyone to hear.   What makes that statement so exciting and real is that I’ve thought about doing this a lot over the last few months (admittedly with a significant amount of encouragement and support from all my weekly blog readers – almost 10,000 people over the last seven months), and now by saying it out loud it actually brings it to life and makes it real.   It’s now no longer just a dream or hope, but a tangible goal that I’m going to now go and do.  

As you’d expect there’s a lot more on my wish list but this will do for a start don’t you think? J