Thank you for reading my blog! This past month we had a record number of readers (10,293 in total for February 2015), in addition we just past the 100,000 reader threshold for my blogs. Come check out the Indelible Adventures website and see the latest photos from our adventures.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently I was
asked to write a business article on a topic of my choosing and not
surprising I chose a topic close to my heart.
I entitled it “The myth of Work-Life balance”. I didn’t realize how popular and polarizing
this topic was until I told a couple of people about it and was surprised by
the strong reactions it elicited.
I realize there
are lots of factors that make up “Work–Life balance” but I settled on three
areas that hit at the core of why I believe we’ve been sold a bill of goods on
the topic. Just sayin!
Myth
1: Hours worked equals productivity
When we work
longer we feel as though we’re contributing more, or adding greater value. If you take away the countless emails, often-pointless
meetings, and other daily distractions and get to the focused time we generally
don’t need to be working long hours to provide your best value, in fact I would
contend we should be working less but in a more focus and less distracted environment. This is reinforced by our leaders who role
model this type of behaviour and which transfers the feeling of obligation and expectations to their teams.
Myth
2: We need to respond to every
request/email irrespective
Prior to
technology invading our lives we were diligent for the most part and responded
to notes and phone calls as they came to us, although in most cases this was
confined to your Monday – Friday 9-5 type of environment. However, in today’s climate we are always
connected and “on”. This creates added
stress that we take home at night and over the weekends where it seems the norm
to respond to all requests day or night irrespective… Unfortunately, this is also being constantly
reinforced by our corporate culture of “constantly having to prove you’re a
team player” and always being available.
Myth
3: Employers control work-life balance
Organizations
tout that they support work-life balance yet they set you up on a daily basis
where you have to choose between you and them.
Guess who wins 95% of the time?
What tends to happen is that we don’t advocate on our own behalf to stand our ground and say enough is enough. We feel either unable or
unwilling to have an honest and frank discussion with our manager or supervisor
about setting expectations and boundaries to ensure everyone is on the same
page. Actually the only person who
controls work-life balance is you!
My personal realization of my Work-Life balance "issues" came to a head upon
hearing that I been promoted to Partner with Accenture back in 2010. After four years of doing everything humanly
possible I had finally made it, after hearing the news I desperately wanted to be happy and bask in my
achievement but all I felt was another check in the box and worse - completely
empty and devoid of emotion!
After the literally thousands of hours of
work – day and night over that four year span, the million air-miles, and close to 700
nights in hotels and that’s before the guilt of being the constantly
absent parent I had finally gotten what I striven for, but at what price? Damn - self-reflection is a bugger!
Now on top of this emptiness throw in dad’s
diagnosis with terminal brain cancer less than a month later… I realize I was
lucky to have had the last six months with him, but being with my dad everyday
during his illness it reinforced the fact that I had been neglecting both my personal
happiness and my family for years while I pursued my career.
I felt incredibly selfish but worse than
that I had convinced myself, and all of those around me including those that
looked up to me that I had perfected the whole work-life balance thingy. Even to a blind man I was completely wrong
headed on this! However, I had convinced
myself otherwise and stuck to the mantra of “you can have it all if you’re willing to work for it ”.
When I returned to work I was struggling
emotionally to cope with these new found epiphanies plus the feelings of guilt and loss with dad -
I was a mess!
Clearly I had gotten it all wrong and
decided then and there that things needed to change, and that I needed to take
control and set new boundaries. So shortly after when a lead partner came to me and asked
me to take a role in Calgary (a four hour flight each way) I said no. “But that’s where the job is so you have to
go...” My response was “Not going to do it, and
actually I think we need a different conversation.”
I had finally found my voice...
My final word of advice:
One size does not fit all and so finding
the right mix and balance is a very personal thing, and not a formula or a
mandate. You need to define what things
are important to you in life and strive to include those things no matter
what. Constantly monitoring and
reevaluating this is important as you life evolves and changes, and so not a
one time thing. The most important thing
is to keep the lines of communication open with your manager / supervisor to
ensure everyone has the same expectations as your life evolves and changes.
Being your own best advocate and creating
the work-life balance that is best for you is the most important thing
you can do for yourself. So rather than
thinking of it as work-life balance perhaps we should recast it as “in pursuit of balancing personal happiness
with a sense of profound fulfillment”.
Now that’s a mouthful but what the heck it
works…just ask me now.
Honest, revealing and oh so relevant. Many thanks Terence and have fun in Ireland!
ReplyDelete