Come check out the updated Indelible Adventures website with the ability to now shop (see the navigation bar at the top of the site) for a Toronto Urban Art Photography Tour and soon to come books, photo collections, special travel offers and much more. Stay tuned!
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Clearly, the first impression is the most
important thing when meeting someone for the first time and so we tend to put our
best foot forward. I think the rule is
that you can tell within the first ten seconds whether you like the
person or not, primarily using your intuition which is fine if you're meeting in person, but with business apps
like LinkedIn it's much more difficult to gauge the person's intentions and indeed, if there is any common ground.
Admittedly getting asked to join someone’s online network
is a bit of a leap of faith if you've never met them in person before. The first
task is to review their profile or online resume to see whether we can relate in any way. Next - are they my equal or close
to it? Next - does their job history translate
into something good enough to be associated with or perhaps may be of value to me now or in the future? All these types of questions fly through your
subconscious in the blink of an eye, most not even consciously but all the
while weighing up if it's a good fit.
Since I've started my new business I've been networking like crazy trying to develop different groupings of people in a broad range of industries and roles. I often get asked who am I and what exactly do I do?. I tend find myself providing my interpretation of what I think will resonate best with the person I'm communicating with or what will enable us to relate on some level. Finding common ground can be tricky, as deep down we all want to feel a connection but more importantly we want to fit in. Not surprisingly, we all have a common tendency to categorize or slot people into our own mental model in terms of jobs, roles and work history.
Depending on who I'm talking to I'm sometimes more of a writer, other times more of a photographer, yet other times more of a
management consultant... Often it can be difficult to get their
head around the fact that I’m all three plus a Travel Concierge and guide as it's way
outside the norm to have so many things going on. I don't fit neatly into a box or a mental
model. Invariably the next question is,
“great – but what do you actually do?”
I guess what they're really asking is “how
do I make a living?” Once, they know
that, then they can categorize me… Personally
I find it fascinating that we all want to label stuff especially people.
What I really want to tell them is that I'm piecing together a life from all these things, following my passions and
dreams…with the underlying tenant being flexibility. Admittedly, it can be perceived as a
little too airy-fairy and so for the most part I have to temper my response lest
it triggers the “not reliable, or doesn't want to work hard or even better yet
– too much of a dreamer” tag. Strangely
following your dreams and pursuing happiness is seen as selfish, and a little
off putting by those caught in the spin cycle of life.
The drive to fit in and comply with the
societal norms is deeply rooted, so I realize that unless I have a strong
relationship with the person I usually don't get into the details as to what I'm doing beyond the cursory stuff.
I often get told, albeit mostly by
strangers that they wished they had my life with all the excitement and glamour
(very little to be honest.) J The one consistent thing I say is “so why
don’t you?”
What people don't see is that to get to
where I am today there have been many tough personal decisions, sacrifices and
difficult choices which have enabled me to redefine who I am, not by my role or
the prestige of working for a large global company or even the big fancy house
that I decided against so that I could have almost no mortgage and rechannel the capital into starting a business and traveling more with Zach and Sami.
There is no doubt that the pursuit of
happiness is a first world condition, and may seem an odd concept to many
people but my personal realization over the past four years is that life is so
incredibly short. There are no
“do-overs”, no dress rehearsal for the precious life we have, although we all
seem to take it for granted, hence my desire to embrace life and pursue happiness
every day. I'm not waiting for retirement!
Clearly some days are better than others,
but living your life on your terms is incredibly invigorating, albeit a little scary at times...
As I reflect on my personal journey, I
think one of the most important takeaways is that Zach and Sami have a loving
and caring father, whom they spend lots of time with exploring the world around them . The focus is not based on material things
but experiencing things – I’m not sure you could have a better life in which to
grow up.
What was most heartening for me was when
Zach learned that he got into Georgetown University for the summer program, he
couldn't wait to tell me about getting into the program but in the same breath asked if we could do a road trip on our way down to Washington DC, via New
York. I'm not sure which he was more
excited about - the summer program or the road trip with me?
I'm so proud of him for getting accepted
into the summer program, which he did almost completely single handedly but even
more happy that we have the type of relationship that he wanted to spend quality time together on a road trip exploring Washington DC and New York together - watch out MoMA, the Guggenheim and of course our favourite - the Strand bookstore.
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