Indelible Adventures: Evidence of being

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Have you ever taken a moment to think about your legacy and the impact your life has had on the world? Clearly there are those of us (likely not me) that will have a huge and profound impact on civilization, others will have an enormous impact on their countries and/or communities and for the majority of us our impact will be on those immediately around us, on our friends and loved ones.

I suppose the question is – does it matter? If you’re like me I’m guessing that you definitely want to leave a positive mark, but its sort of murky to a large degree in what that form will take. Clearly I want to be a good role model and father for Zach and Sami, and so my most pressing and immediate focus of leaving a legacy is that. It would be great to thought of fondly by your friends, acquaintances, and network but let’s face it the real impact is commensurate with the level of intimacy that we share with those people.

So two big questions spring to mind - what do we do to provide opportunities for memories for our kids? Closely followed by - what can we give our kids that is priceless and most likely the most important gift ever?

For the majority of us our legacy will fade relatively quickly other than the stories our children tell and relate. I find it fascinating that the stories my mother told me of Grandfather Conolly that I’ve shared with you all are still be told and related almost 60 years after his passing and 28 years after my mothers.

These are distant memories but what sticks out is that the stories she told me about him were always larger than life itself. He was an unabashed adventurer and seemed to follow his nose, getting in and surprisingly out of trouble with relative ease. And from the stories she told me there were plenty of each…

What I remember most though is the way my mother used to tell the stories of grandfather, she would be animated, her face would come alive, and she’d laugh as she told of his antics but always in a loving and caring way. It was clear that mum and grandfather shared a common love of life.

So perhaps its both the intimate connection of sharing the real you coupled with a willingness to embrace life and live it with verve and passion that leaves that indelible mark on the lives of those around us.

Since the start of 2012 I’ve been endeavoring to tick the boxes on life, making conscious choices about really living. I can hear you thinking, so what does this mean on a day-to-day basis?

Well, for starters it translates into continuing to work hard on doing the things that interest me, spending as much time as possible with the kids and pursing my passions of writing, photography, speaking and traveling whenever I get the chance.

Although having an adventurous father is great and all, however it's likely not going to have the long term impact that some other simple things will have.

One of the traditions important to me is to always provide a home cooked meal for them whenever they're with me. Since becoming single again, I've found that I love to cook (albeit mostly Italian), and its now to the point if I ask them if they want to go out for dinner to a pub or restaurant they decline in favor of me cooking - no greater confidence builder in the cooking department I can tell you. As you know Sami loves to bake, is often whipping up a batch of cookies, muffins or a cake which is fantastic, as the smell of the baking permeates the house. We make a good pair, her cooking desserts and me the main course!

Clearly I'm hoping that each of these traditions and the associated stories will be passed down to their kids in due course, both of their adventurous father, and the wonderful, warm and loving home that they were brought up in. Only time will tell I suppose...

I think the greatest gift we can give our kids, and likely in hindsight the most valuable - is our time. Creating memories with your kids happens everyday and can be as simple as playing on the swings at the park, or going for ice cream after dinner in the summer...(this one is still a favorite!) Just making yourself available to them is so important.

The tricky part is putting aside all of our gadgets, and freeing ourselves from the hectic lives we live to just be. Engaging in the everyday is where its at - it doesn't have to be worldly or big, but simple and eclectic that fills the memory banks.

We get one life, take a chance, lean into it every day with all your passion and energy and I’m betting you’ll be surprised at how invigorated you feel by embracing it, and how engaged your children will be by your presence.

What are you waiting for? :-)

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“Hanoi Posting”

A series of fictional micro-stories by Terence Wallis

Episode 35: One Spirit

After Bill's call Mai's mood improved considerably, and she began day-dreaming about being with him, his hard and muscled body against hers.

Mai sensed that Anh was for the first time in their entire relationship was jealous of her affair with Bill. It was obvious after the cool reception she received from her whenever she mentioned his name and so wondered whether she should divulge that he'd called or that they were going to meet the following week.

On one hand she felt completely loved and protected by Anh, but deep inside she knew that something was missing. Mai was surprised for her deep feeling of connection to Bill, especially given that they had spent so little time together. He was so different to all the other men she met.

It was more than just physical attraction, it was as if she and Bill were of one spirit and that on some unspoken level completely were in sync with each other which was both unnerving and exhilarating all at the same time.

Although initially annoyed by his absence and lack of communication since their afternoon together, she'd pouted for a few days before realizing that if it was meant to be that he would come back to her and be in her life no matter what. And so began to wait for his inevitable call...

And now it were as if the universe had brought him back to her and that Tuesday couldn't come fast enough.

She wanted to feel his arms around her, his breath on her neck and his skin on hers...