Do you remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend? The excitement of seeing them after a few
hours or days, or perhaps that first kiss and how clumsy the feelings were that
surrounded it.
It’s even strange to say the word “girlfriend” as it relates
to those first awkward connections. I
think growing up in a strict household coupled with being from a small country town
of only 500 people, even the thought of meeting someone of the opposite sex,
let alone actually having a conversation with them and/or potentially going out
with them was extremely remote.
Now I know those of you that know me may have a very hard
time believing I was incredibly shy, but I remember being so tongue tied when a
girl spoke to me once at secondary school that I just couldn't get the words
out, all I could do was mumble something rather incoherent and my face turned
the shade of red normally associated with that of a fire truck! I was soooooooo embarrassed; actually
mortified would be a better term.
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| The Old Clunes Library - doubling as our youth club |
Once or twice a year there would be group trip to the indoor
swimming pool in Ballarat, which is about 20 miles from Clunes. In those days Ballarat had a population of
about 70,000 people, and had all the modern conveniences, which included an
indoor heated pool. We felt like we
were going on an adventure of a lifetime, but seriously, Ballarat on a Tuesday
night in the middle of winter wasn't really that exotic if you know what I mean,
but to a handful of 12 and 13 year olds it was pretty amazing.
There was a girl I liked (Sharon) who used to attend youth
club intermittently, she had light brown colored hair and piercing
green eyes. I thought she was the "best
thing since sliced bread"; she was athletic and full of energy, totally amazing and a year behind me at school.
I would cast the occasional glance at her, hoping above hope
that she wouldn't catch me looking or make eye contact, as that was a sure
recipe for complete and utter embarrassment.
The night in question unfolded like any other, except that
this week we had been told to bring our bathing suits, as we'd be heading into
the heated pool in Ballarat for our youth club instead of our usual indoor
volleyball or gymnastics. I showed up
as normal expecting to meet up with Stephen, his father (Hugo) used to run the youth club and being of Italian descent was the only person from a different ethnic background in our town.
Hugo used to drive the local bus back and forth to Ballarat
and during the day worked on the railways.
At night he volunteered to run the youth club, which was pretty
interesting given that he did it of his own volition without any help or
support from anyone else in the community, funding it out of his own pocket no less. Pretty amazing, but more amazing is the fact
that he did it for more than 30 years until he retired just a few short years ago.
So back to the story – on the night in question I arrived
with my togs (swim suit to those of you in North America) expecting to find
Stephen and his two brothers, but I was the first person to arrive and
was sitting on the library steps waiting for everyone else when two girls strolled toward me. It was Sharon and
her girlfriend Michelle…OMG - what now? Perhaps they won't notice me I thought.
They surprised me by saying “hi” and began
chatting like I was a long lost friend, not really having much chance to get too embarrassed
I returned the conversation albeit a little awkwardly. Wow, they seemed friendly and put me at
ease, but that was rather short lived when Stephen, his brothers and another
one or two other kids arrived.
Back into my comfort zone, I could now safely go back to
ignoring them (as best as I could anyway).
As we jumped into the car for our 30 minute drive to Ballarat who should push in
next to me in the back of the station wagon but Sharon and Michelle.
Holy shit! I was in
way over my head, and now impossible to ignore the person pressed up against
me. They chatted amiably and included me
in the conversation (completely new territory for me) – a girl that treated me
like a friend and who didn’t run away laughing felt amazing, plus she smelt amazing!
Over the course of the drive into Ballarat we talked,
although I can't remember what about exactly but when we arrived at the pool we
invariably split off into our groups and rushed to get changed. We were already in the water when Sharon and
Michelle came out onto the pool deck a few minutes later (btw they were the only two girls who came
swimming that night). Clad in
their one-piece bathing suits they looked amazing as they strolled the length
of the pool with all the boys watching. Clearly, like everyone else was afraid to stare but desperately wanted to. J
Hugo had a friend who owned a milk bar (café) in Ballarat
and so he would always take us there for a milk shake afterwards, strangely on
the ride to the milk bar Sharon was once again squished in next to me, at first
I thought it was a coincidence, but as we sped through the darkened streets
toward the milk bar she reached out so no one could see and held my hand. Wow!
As she squeezed my hand I was both excited (evidenced by my
whole body shaking and my burning ears and face). Fortunately for me it was relatively dark in
the car so no one noticed. As we pulled
up to the milk bar, she let go of my hand although I definitely wanted her to
do it again and really not sure if I had the courage to reach out and grasp her
hand anytime soon.
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| Banana milkshake - yum!! |
After a delicious banana milkshake (it was my personal
favorite J),
we piled back in the station wagon.
However, when we climbed in she whispered that we should sit in the very
back of the station wagon, as it was too squishy in the back seat. I needed very little encouragement so we
plunged headlong over the back and was now sitting atop all of the bags in the
very back.
As the car pulled away from the curb she leaned into me and
kissed me on the lips – just a peck but wow!
I mimicked her and kissed her back just like she had me - it
was wonderful, amazing, and blissful all rolled into one moment. She had the softest lips and she smelled
great, we innocently smooched a little more before being dropped off at home. I was walking on air when I got home, a
silly grin spread from ear to ear and unable to really tell anyone for fear of
ridicule (yes, my family can be a bit harsh) so I had to keep it a
secret….until now!
It was the first time I'd ever been kissed, plus she
actually seemed to like me (surprisingly) and didn't treat me like I was a nerd or a
loser (which for a long time felt like I was…a bit of an outcast really growing
up). I only saw her once or twice after that at the youth club over the ensuing months. In later years as we travelled to school
by train each morning I would see her on the platform and our eyes would meet and we'd have
that knowing glance and smile.
The teenage years are so difficult for everyone; I can see Zach feeling a
little the same as I did all those years ago – nervous and unsure, but I
guess it’s a “right of passage” for all teenagers. As torturous as it was at
the time I wouldn't trade that first kiss for anything.
Now Sami on the other hand is banned from kissing boys until she's thirty!
Hear that girl?
Great post, T. One of the best yet!!!
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