Reinvention - creating the life you want.

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People often say to me that they want my life…  My response to them is “so why don’t they?”  This is often followed by silence and sometimes awkwardness as they reflect momentarily.

During my life I’ve had to reinvent myself a number of times.  This latest rendition is just one in a series of occurrences that I’ve engineered throughout my life.  I think for most of us though, even if we haven’t completely reinvented ourselves we’ve either wanted to or done some tweaking to move us closer to where we want to be at some point in our lives. 

Admittedly, reinventing yourself takes a lot of hard work and clearly not for the faint of heart.

I’ve also found that it’s an evolving state in that as you get closer to your initial dream things change.  What I’ve found is that flexibility in your thinking allows you to continually move forward, this measure of “go with the flow” mentality is not to say that you float.  Far from it, in fact your fluidity keeps you open to the possibilities of life and where it takes you is a vital element.

Here are three important themes that I speak about in my talks:

Indelible Tip #1:  Belief   At the end of the day you must fully and wholeheartedly believe in what you’re looking to become or trying to achieve in reinventing yourself.  There is no half measure of this attribute, because it’s driven from the heart.  Your authenticity is self evident to all those around you, armed with this sense of mission and mixed with passion this is the engine that will drive you forward toward your reinvented self. 

Arguably, without this key ingredient, your reinvention is merely a daydream, a “wouldn’t it be nice if…” type thought.   Hey, not that there is anything wrong with that, but it's not going to get you where you want to ultimately be if that is your ultimate dream.  It takes more than mere words to make real and sustainable change happen, you have to keep chipping away with your actions so that they reinforce your words. 

Reinvention doesn’t happen overnight, unless you’re in a Disney movie so if you’re totally serious about reinventing yourself it's going to take time, so you'll also need to be patient. Sometimes I've felt like whenever I'd take a step forward, then I invariably I'd feel like I'd take two backwards in short order. Recognizing this as a natural part of the process will help minimize the stress of what you're going through - trust me on this one!

Indelible Tip #2: Perseverance   The way I look at is that every day you focus on your dreams, reinforcing and imaging the new you, the closer you are to achieving them. Reinvention is not a fast process, but your strength of character and your ability to persevere, even when you feel like it's hopeless is the conduit for you to achieve them.  

One way I've found is to put sticky notes up around your house - on your refrigerator, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table or lamp so that the first thing you see every morning is a reinforcement of your dreams and goals. 

Essentially you’re retraining your brain, this constant reinforcement, although some might think weird or hokey is critical as it helps visualize where you want to be or who you want to be, over and over again. 

I’m the first to admit that i have sticky notes constantly surrounding me, even now as I type this week's blog I have them pasted to my computer screen all looking back at me expectantly, as I look at them and smile…  :-)    

Indelible Tip #3:  Sacrifice   No one really knows or understands the amount of sacrifice you make when you commit to reinventing yourself.  Starting over means that you often have to take significant step back in order to move forward, and this is clearly a major consideration before you embark on this journey. It's not for everyone, and to be fair your personal circumstances will dictate how and when you can fully mobilize to commit to reinventing yourself. 

However, the beauty of reinvention is that you get to choose…every day!  

And just to be clear, there undoubtedly will be days when you shake your head and wonder what the hell you’re doing.  Trust me these are normal and just part of the journey, it’s the strong and truly motivated that can get past these moments of doubt and uncertainty and move toward their dreams and goals.  

This is all part of the evolution of the process and your flexibility will enable you to take advantage of new opportunities as they present themself to you, which undoubtedly they will.

Reinvention is possible....what does yours look like?


If you'd like to hear more about the stories that helped shape my thinking about "reinvention - creating the life you want" or have me come and speak at your next event - email speakingof@indelible-adventures.com

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“Hanoi Posting”

A series of fictional micro-stories by Terence Wallis

Episode 28: Advantage

After Trung received his orders from Anh he quickly began gathering information about the Australian, and within hours had discovered that he'd been sent out of the country to cover a story in Bangladesh.  Reporting back the next morning Anh listened in silence as he outlined what he'd found.  

Dismissing him, she walked to the balcony of her apartment adjacent to the Chợ Đồng Xuân.  The question she turned over in her mind was, should she divulge this information to Mai to calm and reassure her or withhold it and see how things played themselves out... 

Although Anh truly loved Mai she had been hardwired at an early age to use every advantage possible, irrespective of how small to ensure she initially gained and then maintained control.  After all "information is power" she often thought to herself.  

She began playing out scenarios in her mind as to how best to use the information that Trung had discovered, completely oblivious to the cacophony of sounds and smells emanating from the nearby market. She leaned heavily on the railing with both hands and pondered her next move as she stared into the crowded and congested epicentre of Hanoi. 

From her vantage point overlooking the market she felt like the queen of Hanoi, which arguably she was.  Everything that occurred in the market - she knew about, every transaction - she took a cut of and every stall owner knew exactly who was in control, and it certainly wasn't the central government - her power in Old Hanoi was absolute.

The next morning Anh woke as the translucent light began filtering into the bedroom just before dawn, slowly running her fingernails down Mai's naked back, she leaned in and breathed deeply. Anh loved the smell of Mai's natural scent...  

Taking her time, she began to tease Mai awake by softly skimming her body from her neck to her hip and crease of her ass with the light touch of her fingertips.  As she softly caressed her back and nibbled her neck she felt her nipples harden and the excitement grow inside her as her lips softly kissed Mai's beautifully sculpted neck from behind.

Mai began to stir and rolled over, opening her eyes and smiling as Anh continued her morning ritual of waking her to make love.  Their lips met as their tongues and bodies slowly entwined...

As they lay bathed in sweat under the slowly revolving overhead fan sharing a post-coital cigarette it was Anh who asked "have you heard from your mysterious Australian?"  Mai took a long drag on her cigarette but remained silent.   

The air suddenly seemed to thicken...

Next week:  Episode 29  Routine  

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Earlier this week ImageBrief (my photography agency in NYC) contacted me to tell me that I'm one of the Editors Featured Pro's to be showcased for the next two weeks.  Amazing!!!

So instead of my weekly photo shoot here is the link to the showcase of my photos that ImageBrief curated on my behalf.  Featured Pro 

Enjoy!

TW